Saturday, January 12, 2013

It's OK to be Scared

The first thing you should understand about me is that I don't get stressed. With my life and my schoolwork, I typically adopt a "Everything's going to be all right" mentality and then usually go outside and/or eat some chocolate. So you know when I do get stressed, it's bad. Really bad.
It's kind of weird how it happens. One day, I'm relatively fine; I have a black cloud in the back of my mind, but I'm not really letting it bother me. But then a few days pass, and if the issue is big enough, it piles and piles and piles until I go a little crazy. As my friends like to call it, I feel ALL the feels. This culmination is not a pretty sight, and I'm usually left feeling a little silly and very worn out.

Today, it happened. I hadn't really had my freak-out moment for Spain yet, and I didn't realize how nervous I was until I became an emotional mess. I was calmed only by laying peacefully outside, staring up at the pretty twilit sky, reminding myself that everything really was going to be all right and talking to my mom.

As future study abroad students, we are often told "It's OK to be nervous, it's perfectly natural," but the truth is that we aren't really going to believe that. We're nervous, after all! More than that, I feel like I shouldn't be nervous. I'm a self-proclaimed adventurer! I'm an explorer, a fun-seeker, a traveler! I couldn't be nervous--this is the chance that I've been waiting for my whole life. I felt like being scared would mean that all of these years, I was just kidding myself.

So false. 

OF COURSE, I'm scared. I'm going to be living in a different country for five months, where the language is different, the culture is different--everything is different! I'll be an ocean away from most of my friends and my family...that's enough to make anyone a little anxious.

I don't feel any less of an adventurer because I'm scared. I feel like a young adult who is about to embark on an amazing aventura, but who has a very wonderful life at home, too.
So if you are experiencing similar emotions, the best thing to do is cry (if you're a cryer) and talk to your parents. They'll probably make you feel better :)
And remember: Everything's going to be all right!


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